Tripping on self-judgement

Today, on my Team FitWisdom FB page, I posted:
When you work out today, don't trip on self-judgement. You are who you are. Work at making yourself a healthier version of YOU--not a version of someone else. #FitWisdom

This is something that I continually struggle with. I know what i'm made of: 5'3.75" of pure badassedness. But, that comes with a few items from the gene pool that i'm NOT fond of. Oh, say, for instance, my thighs and butt. These things were 'heftier' than most girls my age when I was younger, and as an adult (and after having kids), they remain not only 'heftier' but saggier as well. Yay me.

Of course, i have my days when i'm in the workout room and I see myself and think, "Alright, alright...not bad for a nearing-40 mom of two." Then there are the days that my mind is replete with images of people I don't even know, that are in crazy-ass good shape, and I begin to trip.

I trip on my own self-judgement.

Now, THIS got me into a lot of trouble in highschool and college. If I could go back to those days, I'd smack myself in the fool head and shove a burrito down my throat. The days of self-starving in highschool; sneaking Dexatrim and SlimFast from my mom. Then surviving college on Diet Coke, animal crackers, and Phen-Fen (procured from the 'doctor' at the Quack Shack). All of those years, no one ever, EVER stepped in to tell me this wasn't healthy. No one ever told me that I needed to work with the shape I had, instead of trying to look like someone else.

Random story time: The summer of 1993, I was a professional cheerleader. I weighed around 130lbs. I was teaching at a summer camp and the whole lot of us (the girls) were starving ourselves. We'd go to lunch at eat plain lettuce. The staff trainer came in and yelled at us. Said that we NEEDED to eat. And said something that, for some reason or another, stuck with me: "If your stunt partner says you're too heavy, then HE's not strong enough." We thought that was funny. We giggled, put more food on our plates, then when the trainer left, we dumped it. Each of us had a vision of what we NEEDED to look like in our heads. SELF-JUDGEMENT.

As a grown woman, I still trip. It's hard not to. We're bombarded every day with what 'looks' healthy--not what IS healthy. I piss my husband off more often than not, because i am hyper-critical about my body. I take pictures of my progress and often post them on my fitness page--not because I want people to swamp me with accolades, but because it's a big part of me accepting ME. THIS is what I look like. And when people DO say positive things, it makes me think, "You know...maybe I don't look so bad." Progress is progress.

As women, we need to stop tripping ourselves. There are so many different body types and shapes. We need to accept our body type/shape and work to get THAT in the healthiest form possible for US. Not someone else's healthiest from. OUR healthiest form.

Quit tripping.