Tripping on self-judgement

Today, on my Team FitWisdom FB page, I posted:
When you work out today, don't trip on self-judgement. You are who you are. Work at making yourself a healthier version of YOU--not a version of someone else. #FitWisdom

This is something that I continually struggle with. I know what i'm made of: 5'3.75" of pure badassedness. But, that comes with a few items from the gene pool that i'm NOT fond of. Oh, say, for instance, my thighs and butt. These things were 'heftier' than most girls my age when I was younger, and as an adult (and after having kids), they remain not only 'heftier' but saggier as well. Yay me.

Of course, i have my days when i'm in the workout room and I see myself and think, "Alright, alright...not bad for a nearing-40 mom of two." Then there are the days that my mind is replete with images of people I don't even know, that are in crazy-ass good shape, and I begin to trip.

I trip on my own self-judgement.

Now, THIS got me into a lot of trouble in highschool and college. If I could go back to those days, I'd smack myself in the fool head and shove a burrito down my throat. The days of self-starving in highschool; sneaking Dexatrim and SlimFast from my mom. Then surviving college on Diet Coke, animal crackers, and Phen-Fen (procured from the 'doctor' at the Quack Shack). All of those years, no one ever, EVER stepped in to tell me this wasn't healthy. No one ever told me that I needed to work with the shape I had, instead of trying to look like someone else.

Random story time: The summer of 1993, I was a professional cheerleader. I weighed around 130lbs. I was teaching at a summer camp and the whole lot of us (the girls) were starving ourselves. We'd go to lunch at eat plain lettuce. The staff trainer came in and yelled at us. Said that we NEEDED to eat. And said something that, for some reason or another, stuck with me: "If your stunt partner says you're too heavy, then HE's not strong enough." We thought that was funny. We giggled, put more food on our plates, then when the trainer left, we dumped it. Each of us had a vision of what we NEEDED to look like in our heads. SELF-JUDGEMENT.

As a grown woman, I still trip. It's hard not to. We're bombarded every day with what 'looks' healthy--not what IS healthy. I piss my husband off more often than not, because i am hyper-critical about my body. I take pictures of my progress and often post them on my fitness page--not because I want people to swamp me with accolades, but because it's a big part of me accepting ME. THIS is what I look like. And when people DO say positive things, it makes me think, "You know...maybe I don't look so bad." Progress is progress.

As women, we need to stop tripping ourselves. There are so many different body types and shapes. We need to accept our body type/shape and work to get THAT in the healthiest form possible for US. Not someone else's healthiest from. OUR healthiest form.

Quit tripping.

"Thigh Gap"

I just saw an article this morning about teen girls trying to acheive 'thigh gap.' This is utterly ridiculous. As a health nut, and a mom of two young girls, this just ticks me off.

I recently spent several weekends volunteering with a community theatre. They were doing a production of "Annie," and I was surrounded by a number of young girls daily. Several times, I would hear one or more utter something to the effect of, "I shouldn't eat this, i'm on a diet," or "I'm fat." Lucky (or unlucky) for them, I was doing the orphans' makeup, so I took that opportunity to talk to a few of them that I had overheard.

This EDUCATING of our young girls is SO important, and really, I feel it on my heart to do this.  I told these girls that they should NOT be on a diet. A diet is temporary. What they need to be doing, is ensuring that they're living a healthy lifestyle! They're GROWING!! They need to be fueling their bodies correctly with good, nutritious food. And yes, it's okay to have cookies once in a while, or a piece of birthday cake!

I hate that we live in a society that PUSHES diets on these young (and very impressionable) girls. So,  I encourage you to...well...ENCOURAGE young girls to live a healthy lifestyle. A stick-thin body with no fat is NOT typical, nor should it ever be unless it is in your genetics. Encourage them to eat well to fuel their growing mind and body. Encourage them to accept ALL body types. Encourage them to see the beauty in their body shape. Just ENCOURAGE them.

 

Back in the game

Well, I am exactly 1 week out from my tissue expander to permanent implant exchange surgery, and I feel FABULOUS!! Those tissue expanders were like rocks in my chest, and inhibited me from doing way too much. Having squishy boobies is NOT overrated! :)

I started working out (carefully!) on Monday of this week and already I can see and feel a difference. I also cleaned up my eating. Over the course of Boobmageddon, I lost 7lbs of muscle (i had just completed Body Beast before I found out I had breastcancer). I only ended up gaining 2lbs or so--no big deal. However, I sure didn't keep it clean over the past 3 months. I wasn't horrible, but i wasn't eating my best. I'm one of those people where exercise fuels my desire to feed my body properly. I'm pretty sure a box of Valentine chocolates didn't account for proper fueling. :-/

One thing I didn't do, and i'm proud of myself for it, is that i never used cancer or my resulting surgeries as an excuse. I KNEW what I was doing. I KNEW i was eating crap. I KNEW i wasn't fueling properly. I accept it. To me, it's better to accept what you're doing, rather than make excuses for it (in all walks/situations in life). If you keep making excuses as to why you're eating crappy food (ex. It's my birthday, I 'deserve' it, I had a rough week, etc.) you're only kidding yourself. Be accountable to yourself--it will make your life that much easier. So, in that regard, I stayed accountable to myself over the course of my treatment. And now, I'm dealing with the consequences of the chocolate and white flour/sugar I was accountable for.

I'm back to drinking a gallon of water a day, back to eating super-clean (but still allowing myself a 'treat food' every once in a while), and back to daily workouts.

I credit my super-awesome recovery time to my health. That's more than anyone could ask for.

Not on a workout program? Start one. Start slow. JUST START. Your body will thank you for it!

I'm back in the game,
Steph