Tripping on self-judgement

Today, on my Team FitWisdom FB page, I posted:
When you work out today, don't trip on self-judgement. You are who you are. Work at making yourself a healthier version of YOU--not a version of someone else. #FitWisdom

This is something that I continually struggle with. I know what i'm made of: 5'3.75" of pure badassedness. But, that comes with a few items from the gene pool that i'm NOT fond of. Oh, say, for instance, my thighs and butt. These things were 'heftier' than most girls my age when I was younger, and as an adult (and after having kids), they remain not only 'heftier' but saggier as well. Yay me.

Of course, i have my days when i'm in the workout room and I see myself and think, "Alright, alright...not bad for a nearing-40 mom of two." Then there are the days that my mind is replete with images of people I don't even know, that are in crazy-ass good shape, and I begin to trip.

I trip on my own self-judgement.

Now, THIS got me into a lot of trouble in highschool and college. If I could go back to those days, I'd smack myself in the fool head and shove a burrito down my throat. The days of self-starving in highschool; sneaking Dexatrim and SlimFast from my mom. Then surviving college on Diet Coke, animal crackers, and Phen-Fen (procured from the 'doctor' at the Quack Shack). All of those years, no one ever, EVER stepped in to tell me this wasn't healthy. No one ever told me that I needed to work with the shape I had, instead of trying to look like someone else.

Random story time: The summer of 1993, I was a professional cheerleader. I weighed around 130lbs. I was teaching at a summer camp and the whole lot of us (the girls) were starving ourselves. We'd go to lunch at eat plain lettuce. The staff trainer came in and yelled at us. Said that we NEEDED to eat. And said something that, for some reason or another, stuck with me: "If your stunt partner says you're too heavy, then HE's not strong enough." We thought that was funny. We giggled, put more food on our plates, then when the trainer left, we dumped it. Each of us had a vision of what we NEEDED to look like in our heads. SELF-JUDGEMENT.

As a grown woman, I still trip. It's hard not to. We're bombarded every day with what 'looks' healthy--not what IS healthy. I piss my husband off more often than not, because i am hyper-critical about my body. I take pictures of my progress and often post them on my fitness page--not because I want people to swamp me with accolades, but because it's a big part of me accepting ME. THIS is what I look like. And when people DO say positive things, it makes me think, "You know...maybe I don't look so bad." Progress is progress.

As women, we need to stop tripping ourselves. There are so many different body types and shapes. We need to accept our body type/shape and work to get THAT in the healthiest form possible for US. Not someone else's healthiest from. OUR healthiest form.

Quit tripping.

"Thigh Gap"

I just saw an article this morning about teen girls trying to acheive 'thigh gap.' This is utterly ridiculous. As a health nut, and a mom of two young girls, this just ticks me off.

I recently spent several weekends volunteering with a community theatre. They were doing a production of "Annie," and I was surrounded by a number of young girls daily. Several times, I would hear one or more utter something to the effect of, "I shouldn't eat this, i'm on a diet," or "I'm fat." Lucky (or unlucky) for them, I was doing the orphans' makeup, so I took that opportunity to talk to a few of them that I had overheard.

This EDUCATING of our young girls is SO important, and really, I feel it on my heart to do this.  I told these girls that they should NOT be on a diet. A diet is temporary. What they need to be doing, is ensuring that they're living a healthy lifestyle! They're GROWING!! They need to be fueling their bodies correctly with good, nutritious food. And yes, it's okay to have cookies once in a while, or a piece of birthday cake!

I hate that we live in a society that PUSHES diets on these young (and very impressionable) girls. So,  I encourage you to...well...ENCOURAGE young girls to live a healthy lifestyle. A stick-thin body with no fat is NOT typical, nor should it ever be unless it is in your genetics. Encourage them to eat well to fuel their growing mind and body. Encourage them to accept ALL body types. Encourage them to see the beauty in their body shape. Just ENCOURAGE them.

 

Back in the game

Well, I am exactly 1 week out from my tissue expander to permanent implant exchange surgery, and I feel FABULOUS!! Those tissue expanders were like rocks in my chest, and inhibited me from doing way too much. Having squishy boobies is NOT overrated! :)

I started working out (carefully!) on Monday of this week and already I can see and feel a difference. I also cleaned up my eating. Over the course of Boobmageddon, I lost 7lbs of muscle (i had just completed Body Beast before I found out I had breastcancer). I only ended up gaining 2lbs or so--no big deal. However, I sure didn't keep it clean over the past 3 months. I wasn't horrible, but i wasn't eating my best. I'm one of those people where exercise fuels my desire to feed my body properly. I'm pretty sure a box of Valentine chocolates didn't account for proper fueling. :-/

One thing I didn't do, and i'm proud of myself for it, is that i never used cancer or my resulting surgeries as an excuse. I KNEW what I was doing. I KNEW i was eating crap. I KNEW i wasn't fueling properly. I accept it. To me, it's better to accept what you're doing, rather than make excuses for it (in all walks/situations in life). If you keep making excuses as to why you're eating crappy food (ex. It's my birthday, I 'deserve' it, I had a rough week, etc.) you're only kidding yourself. Be accountable to yourself--it will make your life that much easier. So, in that regard, I stayed accountable to myself over the course of my treatment. And now, I'm dealing with the consequences of the chocolate and white flour/sugar I was accountable for.

I'm back to drinking a gallon of water a day, back to eating super-clean (but still allowing myself a 'treat food' every once in a while), and back to daily workouts.

I credit my super-awesome recovery time to my health. That's more than anyone could ask for.

Not on a workout program? Start one. Start slow. JUST START. Your body will thank you for it!

I'm back in the game,
Steph

It's been a while....

Wow...it's been quite a while since i've blogged on here, but i've been a TAD bit preoccupied. I believe most of you know what's been going on, if not, feel free to visit www.evilpigs.blogspot.com, where my guts are spilled.

So...where am I now? From 19% bodyfat up to 25%, I've lost 7lbs of muscle (ugh), and at this point, gained no pounds. I went from lawnmowering 25lb dumbells to not being able to lawnmower at all, from hammer curling 15lb dumbells to sweating 8s, and from having kick-ass cardio to not being able to breathe much at all. Good times.

The good news is, I know I can do it. I KNOW what i'm capable of, and i'm determined to come back even stronger than before. The bad news? It's still going to be on hiatus for a while. I can only do 'so much' when working out, and as much as I want to 'try' more, it's front and center in my mind that i need to obey doctors orders in order to heal properly. Like last week, for example: I planked. The doctor didn't say I COULDN'T plank, but i didn't ask. He only said i couldn't do pushups. I planked. I planked on Friday and Monday, and Tuesday. Then, I had this horrible pain under my left tissue expander. See? That's what happens when your MIND knows better, but you ignore it. I'm now listening to my common sense. (Even though I planked today...but i only did it for a minute and didn't do any mountain climbers. Okay...maybe i did a few, but not a lot.)

So what DO I do when I plug in my headphones and get to sweating? Legs. A lot of legs. Speed skaters, squats, lunges, calf lifts, power legs, weighted leg lifts, kick backs...anything i can think of to push my body to the edge. For arms, i'm doing LIGHT weights (OMG...it's KILLING me; I feel like such a wuss). Bicep curls, hammer curls, a few shrugs, some overhead presses...i have to be careful with the arms.

What i miss the most: Flys, chest presses, and most of all--pushups (particularly, wide sets) and pullups. Before this crap, I could do 8 non-kip underhand pullups. Who knows how many i'll be able to do after this...THEN i'll have to kip them. Argh. Frustrated? YES. A LOT. Confident that I can get back to where I was? TOTALLY. (But still irritated? Yep.) 

xoxo

Eating Clean--YES, YOU CAN

I eat clean 95% of the time. I started out slow--eating clean on an 80/20% basis (which is what i often recommend to people just starting out). Starting with the 80/20 makes this jump more realistic, and once you get the hang of it, it's easy to make a larger transition. I had posted, a few months back, a partial grocery shopping list; this one is more exhaustive, and will really help you to learn what is/isn't clean.

To get started right, you want to instill a few new habits: 1) Shop the perimeter (I know you've heard this before) 2) Read the labels 3) Don't be afraid to try new things.
Breads

• Trader Joe's brand--Their 'whole grain breads' are clean. I've never tried them, but I've heard they're good. Particularly the Sprouted Multi-Gran and California Protein.
• Ezekiel brand breads--In the freezer section. There are several different varieties--ALL OF WHICH ARE NOT CLEAN--but most are. Read the label.
• Alvarado Street Bakery brand breads--Great selection of rolls, loaves, buns, etc. All of these are clean.
• Tortillas--Hard to find. They should contain only corn, lime, and water. Again, I've heard Trader Joe's carries a sprouted wheat tortilla that is clean, but I've never tried it.

Dairy & Non-Dairy
If you're going to eat clean, personally, I don't recommend dairy. I limit it to cheese, which I only 'treat' myself with--it's not part of my regular eating plan.

• Greek yogurt
• Unsweetened almond milk
• Unsweetened rice milk (made from brown rice)
• Unsweetened soy (always buy organic to avoid GMOs)
• Unsweetened coconut milk (buy 'light')

Meat

• Poultry--Eggs. Mostly the whites, but the yolks, in moderation. Buy organic, please. Boneless, skinless chicken/turkey breasts are awesome.
• Beef--not considered 'clean', but if you want to eat it, buy organic, lean cuts.
• Wild game--Go for it.
• Pork--Generally not part of a clean diet. Skip it.
• Duck--Too fatty.
• Fish--Go for it.

Produce

Stock up, and do your best to buy organic! MOST of your diet should come from this section!
Fruits: All of it.
Veggies: All of it.



The Aisles

Try to keep out of 'em, except for:

• Green Tea
• Decaf coffee (if you must)
• Oatmeal--steel cut or traditional rolled oats.
• Canned items--eeeee...try to stay away, but if you must, read the label. Go for no added sugar and watch the sodium content.
• Dry beans and legumes (I DO buy canned, organic)
• Brown rice
• Whole wheat pasta
• Other grains
• Sweeteners/condiments: Truvia, Aminos, pure maple syrup, spices (no seasoning packets!)
• Flour: oat flour, whole wheat flour
• Chips: There are some really tasty, clean organic chips out there! I buy a flaxseed/red quinoa chip that i love!

That should do it!

Shop away, my friends!

Post Ultimate Reset

So, it's around 2 weeks post Ultimate Reset, and i've noticed a few things:
1) I've put on 3lbs
2) I crave green vegetables
3) I no longer crave crap food on the weekends, NOR alcoholic beverages

In fact, in relation to number 3: My husband and i usually drink on the weekends. We'll buy a bottle of wine/sangria, he'll drink beer while hanging in the pool, etc. This past weekend, I had a few "Mike's Hard Lemonades." They made me feel gross. Like really gross. Not 'drunk' gross, but just bloated and nasty. Ew. I'm a big red wine drinker. The last few times i've had red wine, I feel gross. I get all stuffed up, and feel sluggish the next day. White wine, however, doesn't have that affect on me. What's weird, is i've NEVER been a white wine drinker. Okay...end alcohol rant.

In relation to number 1: I know it's because i've a) had alcohol on the weekends b) not been drinking a gallon and a half of water every day and c) not working out as hard as i usually do. That's all about to change. It's amazing how, when you reset your system, you actually NOTICE, once you start back into your old habits, which of those habits are holding you back from the results you want. BINGO.

In relation to matter 2: Kale. Really. Kale. Never saw that one coming. I want to eat it every day. Weird, I know.

Even my morning coffee doesn't seem to give me the same satisfaction that it used to. Although I complained about the structure of the Reset while I was doing it, it actually gave me a great sense of satisfaction. I'm not saying i'm going to go BACK to that kind of massive structure, but i definitely, after these past 2 weeks, see how much that structure helped me to be my best.

SO...today: adding more vegetables, skipping the morning coffee (already had one this morning, so that'll have to wait until tomorrow), and going back to my water-drinking ways.

Also, i've been doing the Muscle and Fitness Hers 12-week Trainer program. Unfortch, i'm not impressed with it at all. I'm on day 15 of it, and although I LIKE it, i don't feel like i'm getting much out of it at all. I do believe, that i'm going to go back to Asylum and the bain of my existence, Shaun T.

Eat Clean. Be Fit.

Ultimate Reset--Day 22!

I did it! I successfully completed the 21-day Ultimate Reset, and I'm proud to say that I cheated ONCE. And that was on Day 21. I had a tiny piece of a brownie. And guess what? It wasn't worth it. So...my thoughts:

I dropped 9lbs. I didn't think i had 9lbs to lose, but apparently, I did. I always weigh myself first thing in the morning--that's the best, and most true time to weigh-in. For 21 days, I had a love/hate relationship with the reset. It went something like this:

Phase 1: WOW! Look at all this cool food i've never tried! I'm cooking so much! I love cooking! And salad! Good thing I love salad!! YAY!
Phase 2: WOW. Look at all this cool food i've never tried. I'm cooking so much. Cooking is getting old. MORE salad? What the hell is 'millet'? I think that's what's in the bird feeder.
Phase 3: MORE FRUIT?? Can't I just have oatmeal, for the love of GOD. I hate salad. I refuse to cook. All of my vegetables will be eaten raw. I want my chocolate shakeology. Stat.

Day 22: Holy crap. Look how thin I am. My skin is glowing. Most of the cheese on the back of my thighs has gone away. My thighs are SMALLER. I LOVE THE ULTIMATE RESET! :D

See? Love/Hate.

I'm going to be straight with you--it's tough. Now, if you are a single woman with no kids, or a married woman whose husband was doing this with you, it would be much easier. Here's why: It is ridiculously tough to cook your family meals, and watch them eat delicious nums like turkey spaghetti, grilled brisket, and baked chicken--while you sit there with a pile of beets and a salad. Granted, the pile 'o beets and the salad are equally delectable, but let's face it--it's not a grilled brisket. Have you ever pulled a pot roast out of a crock pot, and it's falling apart because it's so tender? And then you sit at the stove and make gravy with the drippings and it smells delightful? Yes, me too. Except I didn't get to eat it. I had to ask my husband if it tasted okay because i'm so good, i didn't even taste it. However, I cannot lie: When I made the brisket, I put a piece in my mouth, chewed it until it was liquified, then spit it out. I had to. It was a briskit. I know you people understand the conundrum I was in.

Anyways...you also can't work out while doing this. I LOVE to workout. It's my stress relief for the day. If i'm not yelling at Shaun T for kicking my rear, my day is not complete. With the Ultimate Reset, you're allowed 'brisk' walks and Tai-Cheng or Yoga. That's it. That simply doesn't cut it for me. By week two, i'd walk into my workout room, roll on my rumble roller, lovingly caress my weights, and kiss my workout shoes. Awful, i tell you.

How do I feel? The Ultimate Reset says, and I quote: "After just 21 days on the Beachbody Ultimate Reset, you'll be feeling dramatically better--physically, mentally, and emotionally." So...do I? Physically, I feel awesome. Mentally and emotionally? I feel more...calm. More centered with my body. Anything extravagant? No, not at all. But let's face it--I ate 90% clean before. I CAN imagine, that if you don't eat clean and do this, you'd feel all kinds of amazing. Even though i eat clean, about mid-way through the 2nd phase, my body felt...different. I just feel better. Definitely more energized.

What am I going to do now that it's over: Eat oatmeal and drink chocolate Shakeology. Those are the two things that are high on my priority list. :) The oatmeal has been eaten (steel cut oats, a heaping tsp of flaxseed, and soy milk---YUM). The Shake-O is next. I'm going to ride out the next 2 weeks and see how I feel. I will most likely be purchasing some of the supplements from the Reset so I can continue taking them. Am I going to eat meat? Probably. I'm certainly not vegan. And I like meat occansionally. I consider myself 'Flexitarian.' I eat mostly vegetarian, but I like ground turkey in my spaghetti and i enjoy the occasional, weekend briskit.

Do I recommend the Ultimate Reset? Heck, yes. It's hard. It takes dedication. It takes absolute determination. But you can do it. I'm so proud of myself that I did it! :)

Here's to your health, my friends! You have one life--make it count!